You sat there and said to me that you dont care that I have hep. C, you dont care if you get, you have cancer anyway... and you arent getting treated for that either. So what you get hep c, and it starts killing your body and makes the cancer worse, so therefore two things are killing you and Im losing you slowly or fast depending on if your body fights the hep c. Heres the things, hep c is not curable and it does not go away on its own. Only three people have ever had hep c go away on their own, their bodies fought it, they were exactly like me. They were strong enough to get rid of it, their bodies rejected the virus. This is a lot for me to handle that I am a walking miracle, the hep c should have killed me by now or at least made me sicker than I get. I do not want to see the girl that I love go through the stuff that I have had to. But than again she wont because she wouldnt go see a doctor, she wouldnt go and get help, she would do the six month blood test, the every two years liver biopse. She wouldnt because she thinks what doesnt kill her makes her stronger. She has cancer.... hep c will only make it worse... I will lose her faster. I will be left alone. I know this may sound really fucking selfish but I dont want to lose you til we are both have reached 102. I know this may sound selfish but I dont want to see you sick and not be able to do anything about it. You say that I can do anything, well guess what the thing is that I have been researching, cancer, a cure, a miracle in a bottle, they need more scientist to work on it, my brain pumps science through it like there isnt a tomorrow, I am good at it, just imagine with a little bit of training I could be that one person that one miracle worker that gets it right, that makes the cancer disappear, would you do something about it than because from this moment on I am not stopping til I get into that research lab and when I am there, I will not sleep eat or do anything til, I find that cure, I know that I can do it. Dont think that I am crazy I am not. I have been through a lot of things that should have killed me, I am fighting a virus and making is go away when its not supposed to, I am helping others and myself, I am taking care of my mom when I can, I learned to change a flat when I was five, the oil when I was seven. Ive could cook eggs, bacon sauage in the moring at age six, I was making steak at nine and on the grill by ten. Tell me I cant, and I will prove you wrong. Tell me not to and Ill do it anyway. Tell me that Im crazy, I slightly am but maybe crazy is what is needed, maybe that extent of how I get when I want something because it will help someone I care about is exactly what is needed, I will stop at nothing. I swear by the end of my days, a cure willl be made.
Anywho, I dont want you to have because I dont want it, and the facts are that mine is going away, what happens when you get it and mine leaves me and Im all better... that isnt fair to you. It throws me off that you dont care, it makes me pissed that you dont care, its important to care about this. I want you to care, I want you to know how dangerous my blood is. I want you to never get it, I dont want to be the one who spreads a nasty disease around, I dont want to be that nasty skank that gives things to others, I dont want to be that whore. I dont want to be that disgusting worthless peice of shit that makes someone elses life more complicated. If you get it, I wouldnt be able to live any longer, I would literally die of disgrace of myself, I would die of the feeling of being so gross, nasty disgustingly skanky. I would hang myself, I would drown myself, I would do something with out blood involved.
-Six feet under yet?
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