The things i do know.

That I don't want to get even more attached. I'm already stuck like glue, but its the crappy glue that doesn't stay stuck for long. I want it to be like cement glue cause I never want to lose her but its going to be hell to not talk to her everyday to not see her almost every day. I'm crying about it now and she's ten feet away. How am I ever gonna make it forty five days without her by my side. She like an attachment to me... how am I gonna make it without her I tell her everything that happens in my day I tell her every little thing and for months I wont be able to tell her anything. I'm going to fall apart but I wont let it show because I have be strong because Tj and Paige don't want her to go either. This just sucks because I honestly don't know when the last night with her will be. This might be it. This night right now might be the last night I get to sleep by her side for the longest time. She keeps me safe at night the nightmares disappear. The ghost doesn't sit in my room and watch me. What happens if tomorrow is thelast day I get with her than she gets put away. Than all I can do is just wait and wait some more. I'm not okay with this at all. I don't know why I'm already breaking down she's not even gone and I'm already crying, it already feels like shes gone. I'm going to miss her so much. I already do. She's touching me right now and I feel like its the last time from a while. I hate this. I hate this feeling. The girl I'm in love with and want to spend the rest of my days with wont be here for 45 of them. I wont get to see her, I barely be able to talk to her. I can't handle this but I have to. Its just a bump in the road and I knew it was going to happen. But why so soon. Why does something always have to happen to the people I love.
Through all of these days all I know is that the day she gets out will be the day I never let her go farther than ten feet away. The day she gets out will be the day a smile appears back on my face for real. I can't wait for that day. I will be there. No question. I'm never leaving this girl. She is my world my everything.
I love you Emily Elizabeth Lucero til death due us part.

-six feet under yet?