Is it time to say goodbye, is it time to give up... Is it time to take that last breathe...? I know that it isnt but I cant help but feel that it is. I am in a room filled with people and I am alone, I dont have friends, I dont have any at school. I dont have someone that I can always go to, that is my fault... I cant put my problems on someone else, I cant not any more... My girlfriend and my brother might go to jail because I put my problems on them. I want to become mute, I want to never speak again. I dont want a voice, it doesnt do me any good anyway. I want this all to end, I want the night mares to stop, I want the reply to go away, I dont want to look in the mirror and see this fat digusting thing that just doesnt matter. I want to just stop everything, I want to sleep for a year, sleep forever, sleep for just a month, I dont care, I just want to sleep for a long period of time so that when I wake up, I cant have to many problems. I want to be in a coffin, six feet under, I want to no longer have to wake up. I want to look in the mirror and not see Dustin and Sterle laughing at me, I want to have sex with my girlfriend and not freak out and think of those two. I dont let her know that I think about it because its with her, I am safe but every night, I dream of them of what they did, I just want this to all be over. I want this to all just be done, If I wasnt alive than nothing would matter anymore. It could all be put at rest. If I could kill myself without hurting anyone else, I would in a heartbeat... I would have my last breathe right now.
buh, Ill talk about this more later... I hate my body, I hate what happened. I hate everything right now, I just want my blanket and a dark corner and a razor.
-Six feet under yet?
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